March 4, 2009

Finding my way

One gift this MS has given me is the need to completely redesign my life. And there are certain things I feel I need to do and lots I don’t. It’s an interesting process.

Met up with my health service manager friends yesterday and ended up at the end with two of them – one, the girl I wanted to work for, who is lefty trendy live for the moment, and the other, who is career driven and proud of it. It was like seeing myself split, and there I was, in transition between the two of them, moving from one to the other.

I was intensely grateful to see my two halves outlined in this way, looking at them both, turning the ideas of them both over in my hands, seeing the benefits of both, and then realizing my strongest draw was to the lefty trendy creative side, that it always has been and that it is a relief to have the divine push to go there. I am pretty dim. All of my life I have worked so hard at things that don’t come naturally to me, and discounted the things that do. Finally my body just had to up and quit to put me where I need to be.

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