May 20, 2009

gnashing teeth

Sometimes this MS thing is just totally frustrating. I would swing my arms and beat something but I haven't got the strength.
Can I plan anything? No
Are my symptoms anything to be worried about? Don't know.
Is my medication helping? No idea.
Is my life going to be much worse soon, or just a little worse? Don't have a clue.
They tell me to just rest, pace myself, adapt. But how can I adapt to something I don't know? If I rest today, does that mean I'll be better tomorrow? Apparently there's no guarantee. Of anything.
And gradually my body grows more enclosed, my life more circumscribed, my existence more purposeless.
Am I just to breathe?
Am I?

No comments: