July 5, 2009


Judging you, judging me.....
We spend unconscionable hours carving the world into us and them, he and she, friends and foes. We obsess about what some guy on the street shouted at us, as if it were us he was shouting at, and not the world. We ascribe to ourselves so much importance that we think each and every movement or thing we say is being weighed and perhaps found wanting by others.
It's impossible with MS to keep this up. First of all, I can't think too much about what others think when I am working as hard as I can to figure out what I think! Besides, it's too exhausting to keep track of rights, wrongs, angers, frustrations. Much easier and better to let go, forget, move along. Accept others. Not that I should be a doormat - no -like all creatures we should move away from noxious substances - but those substances are perhaps only noxious to us - and who are we to judge their overall value?
I used to think I was important, crucial to the world, had meaningful things to contribute. I found myself getting angry at those who didn't find the same things important. Now I realize that, today, the most meaningful thing I can contribute is a smile to a weary mother, coping with sticky ice-cream laden youngsters, or a positive comment to an artist, or a warm hug to someone who needs one. We are only important in 5 minute segments. All we can hope to do is accrue enough good, caring 5 minute segments to make life worthwhile, and to make a contribution to the world of people around us.
And that I can do, even with MS. Even on a bad day.

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