Pinga ponga eyes

I've always loved the cookie monster, and even forgive him his recent mad descent into liking fruits and veggies and only the occasional cookie...sigh. Fun has SO gone out of childhood.

But what I loved most about him were his mismatched, swingy pupils. He always looks vaguely crooked-eyed, and this was part of his charm.

Until it happened to me this Sunday. There I was, at a fun lunch with friends and suddenly my right eye decided it was just fed up with all this hanging around with binocular vision thing. She wanted to be free from Mr. Left, so off she went, shimmying away. Understandably, Mr. Left was a bit hurt, left out, as it were. So he's decided that he won't play with Ms. Right. (why they are male and female, I dunno. Maybe that's part of the problem....)

It's an interesting feeling, not having binocular vision. I've always had serious astigmatism, with one eye shortsighted and the other far sighted. It's been manageable, even without glasses, because the eyes would take turns taking the lead.

Now, however, they're in a fight for domination, and I don't like it. Riding in the bus today was an exercise in bizarreness, as they duked it out.

It's been two full days now, and I'm hoping they will settle down soon.

Worst thing is that it makes me nauseated, so eating cookies is out as a distraction.

Cookie cookie cookie, where are you now? And hey, don't gesture at me with those carrot sticks! Or whatever those things are...all three dozen of them.....whooooooo.

Dizzy, I'm so dizzy....

I'm so dizzy, my head is spinnin'

Like a whirlpool it never ends...

Today, vertigo.

Tis lovely. I suspect my eyes have been working on this for awhile as my glasses have been singularly unhelpful of late, but I can't see at all without them. This picture to the side makes me actively nauseous.

The vertigo comes because the muscles that control my eyes are going a bit spastic, not working together. It's very odd. Worsens with movement but not the way a regular vertigo does. Just went for a walk and thought I'd best bring my cane as I wasn't too sure how the ground would be moving.

There's something else afoot also - because in each eye, I can focus but only with part of my vision. Very strange. I seem to have a very narrow field of vision today and it is not very entertaining as oomies abound. So I think perhaps this is a listen to things day, wherein I give my eyes a rest. If I'm not trying to read or focus only on reading, not motion, I can cope.

So today is not a good day for watching the telly while trying to complete the scarf I am knitting to keep up with my wonderful ex-mum-in-law's donations for the homeless. I promised her I'd help take on her cause as she is losing her ability to knit, and I will, just not today. Shifting from close to near is too deadly for today.

I blame my car lust for this symptom. I've been thinking heavily about getting a car. I don't have one at present and I miss my freedom wheels. I am feeling limited but really it's my own fault as I truly can get everywhere a person would want to by bus...it just takes time and organization and there is something so freeing about jumping in a car and taking off on a whim. But on a day like today, I realize how dangerous I might be in a car - my perceptions are skewed and the vertigo is dangerously distracting. So perhaps I am better just renting a car when I feel well and need one - and maybe today is just a timely reminder to be grateful for cabs and buses and vehicles driven by others.

I'm hoping the vertigo will pass soon. It's fairly disabling when it occurs - I've had two or three bouts - and it's usually accompanied by eye pain. Not my favorite symptom.

On the other hand, I can feel tipsy for very cheap. Some people pay for this sensation....

Whee!

Today I hauled my Aphrodite Schwinn (designed for a woman's body, or so the ads said) bicycle out of the garage, dusted off the spiderwebs, pumped up the tires, and hopped aboard. I needed to get downtown quickly and with all the tourists about, it was the best way - but could I ride without falling? I hadn't been on it in over a year....
And would falling the last few days before my move be smart?
Ah, the heck with it, I thought, and climbed on - and I COULD RIDE. I did not wobble. I wasn't filled with vertigo.
I could feel the freedom of the wind as I rode, even through my helmet - it was wonderful.
Tomorrow, I'm going again......

Fun in moderation, or what not to do...

So last night I cut loose and went out a-karaoke-ing for the first time. It was such fun, really - and my partner for the evening sang well, if a bit wobbly in the later bits. Might've been the beer that he persisted in buying us. So all the singers gradually sounded better and better, and the evening became somewhat blurry. We're talking 3-4 small beer here, but add that to a balance problem and fatigue and impulse control, and you have a potential powderkeg of bad behaviour. Or fun. Whatever.
Then my poor friend tried to get me up to dance the Texas Two Step. I begged him, please don't spin me! He spun me. I did the first few spins but then he did a multi spin move and that was it for me. My ever present vertigo reached up it's cold squirmy hands and spun my eyeballs about. I could hear the optic nerve a-twanging with the music. Oh, and my wobbly walk made me look tremendously smashed almost instantaneously.
So today, I'm reticulating my splines, as they'd say in the Sims. A little shamefaced at some of my behaviour (nothing dangerous or bad, just a little out of range). And to my everlasting relief, despite the dizzies and general buzz, I did NOT get up to sing.