You've got to love the tiny research creatures that toil in labs and create the medications we people with MS need. I've loved a few little hammies (and even a mouse or two) in my life, but I am gaining an even warmer feeling for the little varmints as I hear about their toils in MS treatment.
Tysabri, a relatively new disease modifying drug, has had great success in slowing progression with only that teensy little risk of brain infection - it comes from mouse cells called monoclonal antibodies.
Avonex, the interferon I was thinking I'd be switched to, is from the cute little fellows shown above - dwarf hamsters. I though it was more than appropriate given that I'd nursed a sweet sweet dwarf hamster for 3 plus years with my daughter - she developed a tumour and I kept it under control with my nursing skills...I thought it would be somewhat serendipitous if they helped me back now.
The Copaxone I'm on now is a chemical derivative, no rodents involved, although I'm sure they were involved in the research for its development.
Now I know a lot of you probably are worried about our little furry friends living out their lives in labs, but I've got to tell you, it isn't a bad life. You get fed, you get to reproduce like...ahem...mice, and though your life is short, it isn't appreciably shorter than a natural life, where, face it, you are food for the rest of the food chain. Death is quick and a lot less brutal than being chewed.
But every now and then it seems appropriate to say a quiet huzzah for these wee workhorses of the research industry. So three cheers, tiny four-footed ones! Thanks for your endless service and wishes for lots of crunchy seeds and veggies and a good hot date.
A blog about living with MS. Why Mad Sow? In homage to Denny Crane, on the TV program Boston Legal. Every time he forgot something, he'd point to his head and say "Mad Cow." I refer to my MS, primarily a cognitive thing at present, as my Mad Sow.
April 30, 2010
April 27, 2010
Oh if my neuro could see me now!
The guy thinks I am fine, barely attacked by this disease.
It's true, I am one of the luckier ones, but after two and a half days of twitching, I don't feel that way. My hip joints are spasming, all of my muscles are doing a gentle rhumba (but they haven't got their act together so it just looks like those scenes from Alien where I have ripples under my skin), I can't see to read or drive (though I have done both) and I'm so tired I am sitting with my jaw hanging open...
It's pretty attractive, lemme tell you! I am avoiding carrying hot or heavy things, and am heading to bed again shortly after spending yesterday lolling about there.
I hate lying about. Hate it. So tonight, a muscle relaxant to perhaps stop the spasms and give me a good rest, and hope for a better tomorrow.
I just wish my doc could see me now....
Oh, and the hip flexor action made for interesting driving!!!!! Good thing I could use cruise most of the time. I think I should perhaps be more careful about driving when I twitch and can't see...but most of the drivers drive as if they too are impaired, so at least I don't stand out. ;-)
It's true, I am one of the luckier ones, but after two and a half days of twitching, I don't feel that way. My hip joints are spasming, all of my muscles are doing a gentle rhumba (but they haven't got their act together so it just looks like those scenes from Alien where I have ripples under my skin), I can't see to read or drive (though I have done both) and I'm so tired I am sitting with my jaw hanging open...
It's pretty attractive, lemme tell you! I am avoiding carrying hot or heavy things, and am heading to bed again shortly after spending yesterday lolling about there.
I hate lying about. Hate it. So tonight, a muscle relaxant to perhaps stop the spasms and give me a good rest, and hope for a better tomorrow.
I just wish my doc could see me now....
Oh, and the hip flexor action made for interesting driving!!!!! Good thing I could use cruise most of the time. I think I should perhaps be more careful about driving when I twitch and can't see...but most of the drivers drive as if they too are impaired, so at least I don't stand out. ;-)
April 26, 2010
Pain and sensation and all that jazz
They're finding out all sorts of new things about how we actually sense pain and temperature and all of that - the link above talks about researching the cold and heat pathways (which apparently are separate and involve key proteins of some sort). I'm having a foggy foggy day today after trying to help out at the MS Walk yesterday so took three times through the article and still don't get it quite, but feel free to explore on your own. The key thing is that the cold/hot sensors which prevent us from burning ourselves are regulated from the spinal column..
What I still puzzle about is why the patchy sensation I feel - the places where I can feel touch but the places next to them where I cannot - why I can feel coolness, but pin pricks and injuries are unnoticed. While this is helpful when I chop off different parts of my fingers whenever I make salad (added protein?), I do wonder about the variability in sensation that is part of MS. Any ideas out there?
What I still puzzle about is why the patchy sensation I feel - the places where I can feel touch but the places next to them where I cannot - why I can feel coolness, but pin pricks and injuries are unnoticed. While this is helpful when I chop off different parts of my fingers whenever I make salad (added protein?), I do wonder about the variability in sensation that is part of MS. Any ideas out there?
April 24, 2010
In a foul mood
Arggh.
I am spitting mad, and it's a general thing, non-specific, non-directed - the very worst kind of bad mood.
Maybe it's the lingering fatigue and confusion after the fantastic Erma Bombeck Conference. Maybe it's the dieting to try to deal with my newly acquired diabetes, when all I really crave is a large Rocky Road Ice Cream from Baskin Robbins.
Maybe its a newish friend of mine who suggests it's time for me to attend a workshop on how to deal with the bad relationships in my life.
Maybe it's the bad relationships in my life.
Or maybe it's this CCSVI thing. I'm a sceptic, it's true. I don't like the smell of anything that talks of being a miracle cure - it makes me think of the snake healers in the South West, or Carter's Little Liver Pills. Talk to me of a miracle cure and I'll just betcha there's someone making big buckeroonies off of it somewhere. And I really hate the anti-neurologist and anti-MS Society garbage that is being put on the web about it.
That said, I'm none too fond of my neurologist, who resorted to way too many "supposedely"s in my report of examination and made me feel all that old feeling of "maybe I'm crazy" stuff that I lived for years before diagnosis. (See bad relationships, above)
And it's so tempting. There's a clinic in Montreal that could scan me for a mere $900. Once I got scanned? Aye, there's the rub. Here in Ottawa, all the folks who could do the procedure to widen the veins have been told not to, and all the clients who ask for it are then sent to my neurologist, who then bounces them off his caseload, leaving me with no care.
Which seems rather rude, I think. And frightening.
So, I'm caught in a nogozone. I am curious, yes, suspicious, yes, wary, yes. I suppose I have time to wait, given that my disabilities are relatively scant - would like to say I can't do much mentally these days, but that's not so noticeable. I can still walk, and that's what matters to the neuro. But I'm not good with waiting (see bad relationships, above).
And my time is running out. I'm still technically employed until July, and could return to my job if I felt I could do it. After that it's a whole new job search, which is terrifying. If I could be "cured" before the end of that time - how wondrous, how exciting - but it ain't going to happen.
So I'm in a baaaaad mood.
I am spitting mad, and it's a general thing, non-specific, non-directed - the very worst kind of bad mood.
Maybe it's the lingering fatigue and confusion after the fantastic Erma Bombeck Conference. Maybe it's the dieting to try to deal with my newly acquired diabetes, when all I really crave is a large Rocky Road Ice Cream from Baskin Robbins.
Maybe its a newish friend of mine who suggests it's time for me to attend a workshop on how to deal with the bad relationships in my life.
Maybe it's the bad relationships in my life.
Or maybe it's this CCSVI thing. I'm a sceptic, it's true. I don't like the smell of anything that talks of being a miracle cure - it makes me think of the snake healers in the South West, or Carter's Little Liver Pills. Talk to me of a miracle cure and I'll just betcha there's someone making big buckeroonies off of it somewhere. And I really hate the anti-neurologist and anti-MS Society garbage that is being put on the web about it.
That said, I'm none too fond of my neurologist, who resorted to way too many "supposedely"s in my report of examination and made me feel all that old feeling of "maybe I'm crazy" stuff that I lived for years before diagnosis. (See bad relationships, above)
And it's so tempting. There's a clinic in Montreal that could scan me for a mere $900. Once I got scanned? Aye, there's the rub. Here in Ottawa, all the folks who could do the procedure to widen the veins have been told not to, and all the clients who ask for it are then sent to my neurologist, who then bounces them off his caseload, leaving me with no care.
Which seems rather rude, I think. And frightening.
So, I'm caught in a nogozone. I am curious, yes, suspicious, yes, wary, yes. I suppose I have time to wait, given that my disabilities are relatively scant - would like to say I can't do much mentally these days, but that's not so noticeable. I can still walk, and that's what matters to the neuro. But I'm not good with waiting (see bad relationships, above).
And my time is running out. I'm still technically employed until July, and could return to my job if I felt I could do it. After that it's a whole new job search, which is terrifying. If I could be "cured" before the end of that time - how wondrous, how exciting - but it ain't going to happen.
So I'm in a baaaaad mood.
April 22, 2010
Disability, schmisability
What's a gal to do? I exercise, practice balance strategies, try to eat right and look after myself rest-wise. So when I go to see my neurologist, my disease seems quiescent. This is good for me, but not so good when you are dependent on disability. He says I look okay to him, I agree. But the brain functioning - that's the key - the blinding fatigue, the emotional lability, the pain, yes the pain.
None of it visible to my neuro's eye. Especially since I know what he sees - an overweight greying 50+ woman who he doesn't bother to get to know.
He is filling out the forms for me again, for my insurance company to approve or disapprove. I know I can't work. I've tried short jaunts, the occasional foray into what-ifs. They don't understand.
So what's a girl to do? Try and take care of herself, thus limiting the ravages of this disease on her body? Or let it all go to hell to appease the guardians of the disability cheque?
It's a conundrum.
Adding to my general state of splendour is my new diagnosis of diabetes and hypertension. So, to deal with this, I want to exercise. Within my limits. So I throw myself out for a walk and spend today lethargic and in pain, muscles spasming all over.
I guess what it comes down to is that we can never win.
None of it visible to my neuro's eye. Especially since I know what he sees - an overweight greying 50+ woman who he doesn't bother to get to know.
He is filling out the forms for me again, for my insurance company to approve or disapprove. I know I can't work. I've tried short jaunts, the occasional foray into what-ifs. They don't understand.
So what's a girl to do? Try and take care of herself, thus limiting the ravages of this disease on her body? Or let it all go to hell to appease the guardians of the disability cheque?
It's a conundrum.
Adding to my general state of splendour is my new diagnosis of diabetes and hypertension. So, to deal with this, I want to exercise. Within my limits. So I throw myself out for a walk and spend today lethargic and in pain, muscles spasming all over.
I guess what it comes down to is that we can never win.
April 6, 2010
I am slowly going crazy, 1,2,3,4,5,6, switch
crazy slowly going am I, 6,5,4,3,2,1,switch....
as Sharon, Lois and Bram would have sung....
So here's the thing. Last year at this time I was barely coherent, exhausted, challenged with walking, numb, intellectually slowed.
This year, I'm the same, but my wobblies are a bit better, and now they are gesturing at me with the whole, maybe it isn't the MS causing the problems thing. Because I don't have a lot of spots on my brain. And, I suspect, because I am fifty and overweight. Oh, and I have grey hair.
So, I feel completely inconsequentialled out of life, while still left with the disability. Which of course I'm starting to think must all be in my head, right? Since I am not actually falling down and all. My arsehole neuro actually wrote several "supposedely"s in my history - ouch! So now I'm just making this up?
And then my disability cheque goes walkabout, and all I can think is oh GOD they are going to bounce me just cos total numbness and overwhelming fatigue and all that isn't enough, despite thinking it was enough before, and then I think, what about if they viewed my trip as a reason to punish me off...
And then I wonder if I really AM crazy and if my fatigue after almost any activity is just me being lazy or depressed or some such thing.
It's making me feel awful. Help!
as Sharon, Lois and Bram would have sung....
So here's the thing. Last year at this time I was barely coherent, exhausted, challenged with walking, numb, intellectually slowed.
This year, I'm the same, but my wobblies are a bit better, and now they are gesturing at me with the whole, maybe it isn't the MS causing the problems thing. Because I don't have a lot of spots on my brain. And, I suspect, because I am fifty and overweight. Oh, and I have grey hair.
So, I feel completely inconsequentialled out of life, while still left with the disability. Which of course I'm starting to think must all be in my head, right? Since I am not actually falling down and all. My arsehole neuro actually wrote several "supposedely"s in my history - ouch! So now I'm just making this up?
And then my disability cheque goes walkabout, and all I can think is oh GOD they are going to bounce me just cos total numbness and overwhelming fatigue and all that isn't enough, despite thinking it was enough before, and then I think, what about if they viewed my trip as a reason to punish me off...
And then I wonder if I really AM crazy and if my fatigue after almost any activity is just me being lazy or depressed or some such thing.
It's making me feel awful. Help!
April 5, 2010
Possible explanation for the start of MS - bacteria to blame....
While this won't be at all persuasive for the acolytes of CCSVI, I'd like to offer a humble HUZZAH! for another possible link in the puzzle. Perhaps the infection and the venal reflux combine to reduce the blood brain barrier, allowing T-cells through, at least for those with MS that responds to interferon. Perhaps the accumulated iron from the reflux and porous veins leads to the inflammation that is moderated by Copaxone.
All I can say is WOW! Lots of exciting research coming along!
Washington, Feb 27 (ANI): Researchers from the Catholic University of Rome have identified a possible onset mechanism for multiple sclerosis.
A non-pathogenic bacterium is capable to trigger an autoimmune disease similar to the multiple sclerosis in the mouse, the model animal which helps to explain how human diseases work, researchers have explained in a recently published article on the Journal of Immunology.ultiple sclerosis is a disease due to an inflammatory reaction provoked by the immune system. It causes the disruption of the coating of the nerve fibres in the Central Nervous System.
The study was led by Francesco Ria (Institute of General Pathology) and Giovanni Delogu (Institute of Microbiology).
“We do not know what causes multiple sclerosis”, explains Francesco Ria, immunologist of the Catholic University. “We know that there exist a genetic factor and an environmental factor, but we do not yet posses a satisfactory theory which can explain how exactly this environmental factor works”.
Currently, there are two competing theories on the field: ccording to a first hypothesis, a virus hides within the brain and what causes the disease is the immunologic antiviral reaction. On the other hand, the second hypothesis states that a viral or bacterial pathogen similar to specific molecules of the Central Nervous System causes an inflammation which provokes a reaction of the immune system. This reaction ends up destroying the brain cells. The latter is called the autoimmune hypothesis.
This is the hypothesis that the researchers coming from the Institutes of General Pathology, Microbiology and Anatomy of the Catholic University of Rome have been testing with their two-year long work. To demonstrate the viability of this idea, scientists have fooled the mouse immune system, modifying subtly a bacterium of the common family of mycobacteria (the same family to which also the bacterium causing tuberculosis belongs) to make it look like to myelin, the protein coating nerve cells. This modified mycobacterium is completely innocuous. As all external agents, though, it is capable to trigger the reaction of the T-cells of the immune systems. They intervene to destroy it. Since they are innocuous bacteria, although very common in the environment, and since they induce an immune reaction, they are the ideal bacteria scientists can use to study the environmental factor contributing, together with the genetic factor, to cause multiple sclerosis.
“Normally, T-cells cannot penetrate into the Central Nervous System”, adds Rea, “because the hematoencephalic barrier prevents them from doing so. But the bacterium modifies the characteristics of the T-cells and allows them to overcome the barrier. In 15 days the bacterium disappears completely from the body”.
Yet these T-cells can now enter into the brain. This way, they begin to attack the myelin of the nerve cells, and here is how the immune disease breaks out.
“We basically demonstrate - explains Rea - that in an animal model it is possible to be infected with something not carrying any disease, and later on develop a purely autoimmune disease”.
Yet there is another element in this complex research, sponsored by the Italian Association of Multiple Sclerosis (AISM).
“Normally - clarifies Rea - to understand which diseases we have encountered, we measure the antibodies produced by that specific pathogen. But there is a whole world of infectious agents which do not induce the production of antibodies, as is the case in our research: mycobacteria and many other bacteria produce a very low and variable number of antibodies. It is thus very hard to establish whether a population has encountered that specific infectious agent. So, we demonstrate that those infectious agents which are more likely to produce an autoimmune reaction are just those which do not induce antibody production”. (ANI)
All I can say is WOW! Lots of exciting research coming along!
Washington, Feb 27 (ANI): Researchers from the Catholic University of Rome have identified a possible onset mechanism for multiple sclerosis.
A non-pathogenic bacterium is capable to trigger an autoimmune disease similar to the multiple sclerosis in the mouse, the model animal which helps to explain how human diseases work, researchers have explained in a recently published article on the Journal of Immunology.ultiple sclerosis is a disease due to an inflammatory reaction provoked by the immune system. It causes the disruption of the coating of the nerve fibres in the Central Nervous System.
The study was led by Francesco Ria (Institute of General Pathology) and Giovanni Delogu (Institute of Microbiology).
“We do not know what causes multiple sclerosis”, explains Francesco Ria, immunologist of the Catholic University. “We know that there exist a genetic factor and an environmental factor, but we do not yet posses a satisfactory theory which can explain how exactly this environmental factor works”.
Currently, there are two competing theories on the field: ccording to a first hypothesis, a virus hides within the brain and what causes the disease is the immunologic antiviral reaction. On the other hand, the second hypothesis states that a viral or bacterial pathogen similar to specific molecules of the Central Nervous System causes an inflammation which provokes a reaction of the immune system. This reaction ends up destroying the brain cells. The latter is called the autoimmune hypothesis.
This is the hypothesis that the researchers coming from the Institutes of General Pathology, Microbiology and Anatomy of the Catholic University of Rome have been testing with their two-year long work. To demonstrate the viability of this idea, scientists have fooled the mouse immune system, modifying subtly a bacterium of the common family of mycobacteria (the same family to which also the bacterium causing tuberculosis belongs) to make it look like to myelin, the protein coating nerve cells. This modified mycobacterium is completely innocuous. As all external agents, though, it is capable to trigger the reaction of the T-cells of the immune systems. They intervene to destroy it. Since they are innocuous bacteria, although very common in the environment, and since they induce an immune reaction, they are the ideal bacteria scientists can use to study the environmental factor contributing, together with the genetic factor, to cause multiple sclerosis.
“Normally, T-cells cannot penetrate into the Central Nervous System”, adds Rea, “because the hematoencephalic barrier prevents them from doing so. But the bacterium modifies the characteristics of the T-cells and allows them to overcome the barrier. In 15 days the bacterium disappears completely from the body”.
Yet these T-cells can now enter into the brain. This way, they begin to attack the myelin of the nerve cells, and here is how the immune disease breaks out.
“We basically demonstrate - explains Rea - that in an animal model it is possible to be infected with something not carrying any disease, and later on develop a purely autoimmune disease”.
Yet there is another element in this complex research, sponsored by the Italian Association of Multiple Sclerosis (AISM).
“Normally - clarifies Rea - to understand which diseases we have encountered, we measure the antibodies produced by that specific pathogen. But there is a whole world of infectious agents which do not induce the production of antibodies, as is the case in our research: mycobacteria and many other bacteria produce a very low and variable number of antibodies. It is thus very hard to establish whether a population has encountered that specific infectious agent. So, we demonstrate that those infectious agents which are more likely to produce an autoimmune reaction are just those which do not induce antibody production”. (ANI)
April 3, 2010
hiraeth
I fell across this lovely Welsh word on a blog at red Room, and followed it to the linked blog above.
From what I can tell, it means a yearning for home and hearth - but more than that.
Today I spent the afternoon with my lovely ex-family-in-law. They are alternately warm, loving, hostile, and just plain odd.
But the discussion is always intellectually stimulating and interesting. I yearn for that. I yearn for someone to hold my hand or lean against at family events. I yearn for an extended family. I yearn for a group of people who would help me shoulder this burden I carry concealed within myself.
My growing up family is around, in their way. As in, not really!
It speaks to me that my ex-husband's family knows more about me than my own siblings. Oddly, they care more. I will always owe them my heart for this.
But with my new friends and associates, I daren't share the fears I feel, or the sorrows I feel, or the MS, as it is all so terribly boring in its infinite variability. The endless explanations of how I can be fine one day, wrecked the next....the trying to explain the hidden disabilities...without letting people think I am totally broken and thus not worth getting to know. Even people who know me for some time don't get it - how can they, when I don't, myself?
But I yearn for that insensible, relaxed support that is there even when not asked for. Yep, hiraeth seems a likely word. Along with anomie.
"IT IS DIFFICULT TO DEFINE HIRAETH, BUT TO ME IT MEANS THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF MAN BEING OUT OF HIS HOME AREA AND THAT WHICH IS DEAR TO HIM. THAT IS WHY IT CAN BE FELT EVEN AMONG A HOST OF PEOPLES AMIDST NATURE'S BEAUTY; LIKE A CHRISTIAN YEARNING FOR HEAVEN." --D. MARTYN LLOYD JONES
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)