August 21, 2009

needing to be of help...

One of the hardest things about having this changeable disease was the need to leave work. Sometimes, for days in a row, I feel fine. How do I rationalize that with not being a contributing member of society, not working for others, something towards which my whole career has been geared. Writing, for all its joys, is a selfish activity - the benefit is difficult to ascertain and it is such a solo pleasure until publication happens.
I've been feeling groundless of late, losing a sense of purpose, increasing in depression, and I know this is from the quiet of only looking after myself.
So today I took action. I've already signed up for classes and fun in my new town, but today I started with the giving back stuff and contacted the MS Society to see about volunteering. It was wonderful to feel welcomed, and enthusiastically, for my skill set and interests. It does my heart good to think that this brain I spent $1000's to develop might have a few bright helping sparks to give, after all.
Helping you helps me and all that. So true. I feel better already!

No comments: