December 20, 2009
What is a sweet little trusting soul to think? I am so so tired of having my happy little illusions of the world crushed. It's bad enough the economy is tanking, the wars continue, my body continues to fall apart with MS and my dear ex-mum-in-law continues to perish from ALS.
Do we have to dash my hopes that there is some good in the medical world?
I've worked in the Ontario Community Health Care sector for years. I know how very few patients most of the physicians in this salaried model take on. I used to administer these docs, and on my teams, ever doc had at least 1000 patients, supported fully by a multidisciplinary team. The CHC that I have applied to for care - their docs have way fewer patients. Some have only 400-500.It is an appalling waste of resources. And they will not accept me as a patient because I am complicated, despite their avowed focus on people who suffer challenges. Well, I'm broke, unemployed, disabled, and without a physician. Surely that counts for something.
I am a client of the MS clinic in my former town, and guess what? They never offer any solution for anything, and even though they return my calls, they never want to see me or evaluate me. They expect me to just suffer on. They are of no help. They have kept me on an expensive medication that is not working despite my reports of same. They cancelled my appointment even though I have been complaining about increasing symptoms. They suck.
And then this, an article from a man who very clearly delineates the awful fighting lines of the various players in the MS game. I try to believe the people out there are trying to make us better, if not well, but his arguments make a lot of sense.
Suddenly, I feel a bit like Little Red Robin Hood, cheerfully setting off down the forest path to do good, only to start hearing suspicious sounds in the woods around me.
Unlike, Robin Hood, I have no intention of being eaten by the wolf. I am starting to get angry now. My faith has been misplaced. Even though the only person who has been kind to me in this journey (of the medical side) is my Copaxone nurse, Bonnie, I am still furious about the conflicts of interest that seem to be dragging any hope away.