June 19, 2011
Being positive and all that crap
I did bring the goodies half an hour late, though, having forgotten the time of church. Because I've only been about 10 times already. Last week, though, I had a meeting a half hour later, so that information supplanted what I had had in my brain.
I got the results of my neuropsych assessment the other day. The results weren't that surprising, but the "instructions to employers" made me want to sit down and cry. Apparently I am so distractible I need small chunks of information as a time. I need people to look me in the eye to ensure I am paying attention. I can't be expected to do boring jobs. If I have a project, I should plan to do it in 10 minute segments, alternating with other jobs and breaks, so that I can maintain focus.
Well, heck, I've been doing that for ages, just not deliberately. I start something, get distracted, start something else, realize I've forgotten to finish the other thing, and so forth. I frantically try to order my environment, but I get distracted and put down a paper here, my glasses there. Then I can't see, so I go looking for my glasses. And after I find them I have no idea where the paper is. Maybe the dog ate it. At least I think I have a dog. He's here somewhere.
Some days, as they say, it isn't worth chewing through the restraints.
Today, walking without my cane and experiencing total fallabout by the time I'd got halfway around the route, I wished for restraints. And a comfy bed.
Today, as I hustled into church late, I wished for restraints, or a calendar that beeped at me more regularly. I need to put alarms on EVERYTHING and that is annoying. Especially as I forget to enter stuff into my calendar or add the alarm.
And then there are those moments of "inappropriate sharing", when I wish my mouth had a bit of a restraint. But that would require the memory to remember what effect my talking had had before, plus the ability to read others, which I seem to be losing.
Aw heck. Better go out the dinner on, and then sit right by the oven, so I don't set fire to it. It's just SUCH a good mental day.
And we won't get into the pain. I wish I could forget THAT.
Oh Goethe, you rock.