September 28, 2010

Today I awoke...

to dreams of spasms.  I'd been watching a tennis match with friends and family and we were sitting at a picnic table, when suddenly my legs spasmed up and arched over the table as I stood, seeking escape.  I ended up having to crawl away, while my vision greyed over and eventually I was blinded.
I remember calling to my mother, "Can we just please go home?"

It was the kind of dream that sticks with a person. The kind that makes your body twitch even when you don't want it to, the kind that sends your mind into unhappy areas, thinking of this disease and what it is doing within your brain, undetected.

There's yet another new theory about MS - that the problem isn't death of myelin, but instead, activation of astrocytes, the little cells that make and repair everything to do with nerve cells. If they go rogue, bad things follow.
Ah well.  I should feel reassured that as the stem cell and other research goes ahead, we are coming closer to an answer to this disease. I can only hope we figure out prevention soon - I have kids, and  my biggest fear is that they will be visited by MS themselves.

But the more I hear, the more I realize this is a very complex entity we're dealing with here.  And I just really wish it would stay out of my dreams.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

These spasms are no dream for my husband.. he wakes to find his knees at his chest for REAL. He is maxed out on muscle relax and is faced with surgery to cut the muscles to keep them from spasms. We are fighting to find a way to get him fast tracked for CCSVI. Frustrated by the anecdotal evidence and misinformation available. Keep healthy, phsycially, mentally, spiritually... avoid stress of any kind and excercise. He still does every day. It is important to MSr's with the progressive aggressive version that people remember and speak of them as well. You have visited this place, survived it now live .. don't fear it.